The L-oh-rama

Following up with my new year resolution to update my blog regularly, so today I want to talk about my job. There are a few types of scenarios which will happen in a day. Let's see my daily schedule.


9am - 10 am : Check office mail, gmail, hotmail, latest headlines from around the world wide web, facebook and twitter.

10am - 12pm : Autocad (draw schematic diagram for lighting, sound system depending on projects.)

12pm - 1pm : Refer to 9-10am.

1pm - 2pm : Lunch time.

2pm- 2.30 pm : At showroom to play around with the lighting and sound system. Play some david cook's song on those speakers, bliss..


This is the showroom

Can you believe this 60+k lighting controller...

have a game inside ? (Btw, the high score was by me, now the high score is 23000 plus)

2.30pm - 3pm : Finishing the layout diagram.

3pm - 4pm : Microsoft Excel - prepare bq.

4pm - 4.30pm : Give bq to manager to approve.

4.30pm - 5pm : Amend bq.

5pm - 6pm : Refer to 12pm - 1pm.


Okay, that might look like I'm very free. But the fact is, if I need to rush project deadline, then I have to stay back and work on it. Without OT pay !

Okay, here are some tips to Excel at the workplace:

1. Make your table really messy. Stack a lot of paper, books, magazines (work-related of course), catalogs, drawings, and whatever that can fill the table. This will make you look like you are really busy and serious in your work.

Another catch to this is when your boss comes around and ask documents from you, you can quickly locate it and give it to him. On the other hand, when your colleague (the one that you don't like) asks for some document, you can act by searching high and low in the stack and pretend that you couldn't find the document. You will give it to him later when you find it. (yeah right)

2. Whenever you are browsing facebook, keep your left hand at the keyboard, specifically at the Alt+Tab keys. So, whenever the boss "patrol" your area, you are ready to switch to that excel file that you are "working hard" on previously.

3. Set your wallpaper as a screenshot of Microsoft Excel file.



4. Be resourceful and always think how, it's the little thing that sets you apart from others.

Anyway, work should be fun and enjoyable. So, enjoy your salary ! hahaha...

Disclaimer : Lawrence is not to be held responsible in the event of dismissal by the company if you try to follow this guidelines.

One day, I would like to form my own Audio Visual consultant firm, maybe find a few partners (so I don't have to come out with too much capital). I think the name "L-novation Sdn Bhd" or "L-novation private limited" would make a good name. But more than that, I would like my employee to work with me in a team, where the purpose of work is to feel GOOD about life. So, this would be my to-be company office dress code and leave terms.


OFFICE DRESS CODE AND LEAVE AMENDMENTS
New Policy: Effective from February 2020

Dress Code
It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better.

Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Annual Leave Days
Each employee will receive 104 Annual Leave days a year.
They are called Saturday & Sunday...

Toilet Use
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper will retract, the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the Chronic Offender's category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break
Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our L-novation Sdn Bhd. All questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation, and key frustration form should be directed elsewhere.

Guess what I got in my e-mail.. It was an urgent message from Mybank. (No, it's not a typo, it's MYBANK, not Maybank). Apparently they have blocked my account and they need me to sign in by clicking the link they provided in the e-mail. It's quite funny considering I only have account with Maybank and I 've never have any account with Mybank.






Notice in the lower left hand corner, where the link is supposed to bring me ? It pointed toward a bogus (BOGUS, not BAGUS) address where I assumed look nothing like Mybank but look exactly like Maybank. It's where they steal your login ID and password and they gonna clear your accounts like a crystal clear crystal.

But then, I think maybe someday I'll read in local newspaper about their bank accounts magically send money to a foreign accounts.

It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea . It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town.

He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The Butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.

The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town's prostitute that in these hard times, gave her "services" on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business.

This is a must watch ! Don't say I didn't share good thing with you..




Looking back at myself, let me check whether I commit those "skills" that were mentioned in the video..

1. Pick in the wallet - Check! (I even have 2 picks in the wallet somemore! Haha)

2. Learn to play 4 chords - Check! (I know more than 4 chords lah..)

3. Play the popular song - Check!

Wonderwall, sap sap sui.. Actually, I have a story to tell.. I learnt guitar when I was Junior 1 or 2. Then During Junior 3 in STTSS, you know some people they bring their guitar to school and you know, try to impress the girls with their guitar skills. Though they are not really good at it, I think I'm better. Anyway, back then the pop songs are like Robbie Williams - Betterman, and some other songs that I couldn't recall. Then the girls asked whether I can play Jay Chow - Qing Tian, then I was like qing what ? But back then without youtube or this video to teach me how to get laid, I took my own initiative to learn that song and voila ! Story ends.)

4. Muted string/ Tap the guitar - Sometimes.

If you don't know how to play guitar yet, just go out there and buy a Kapok guitar and watch this video and act like you know how to play guitar. Enjoy !

Ladies and gentlemen,

Laugh at other groups since I've finish my presentation

It's not that I do not like Michael Phelps or something, but it's just seems like something is wrong with the current Olympics. I mean, Michael Phelps got 8 gold medals from swimming alone while for soccer (the most popular sport in the world) the winner only get 1 medal for them to share between 11 guys (plus the reserve) ?



Anyway, do you want to know why Michael Phelps won so many golds ? Because it was all the same thing. It turns out that he can swim real fast when he swims one lap, two laps, four laps - alone, or when 3 other guys go right after him. You want to win multiple medals, fine, join another events. By another events I mean something other than swimming, like gymnastics or judo.


Photos from Mark J Rebilas (check out his site, damn artsy-fartsy olympic photos and great travel stories)

To improve the competitiveness of Olympics, the International Olympics Committee, IOC should introduce the "shame-dal", which is for the worst three athletes in each events. The country with the most "shame-dal" will be kicked out of U.N., stamped "loser" on the passport for the next 4 years wherever they go, lose any war they're currently waging(if any). On the other hand, the winner of the Olympics should get something more realistic, e.g. the citizens can visit another country without visa, the rights to put it's flag on each airplanes in the world, permission to own nuclear weapons etc.

And to determine the best Olympians or the sportsman or whatever they called it, all the athletes will have to live under one roof and complain about one another to the cameras. The athletes with the most complains will be the best Olympian.

The Beijing Olympic 2008 has officially kicked off yesterday. You can expect to see a lot of pictures in the coming days on the mass media.

5. "Batmobile is not really the same after batman switched it to NGV. "


4. "I've been camping here for one week and this isn't the line for the new iPhone 3G ?! "


3. "I've spent all my money on petrol, so I'm just gonna stand here and look at the poster. "


2 . "Shouldn't you be working, Pak Lah ? "


1. "I read that the repair on the gearbox for the batmobile cost them RM 2 million. "

Bolehland Today, Malaysia's largest blog with readership up to 100,000 daily seeks the suitable candidates to fill for a few openings in our young and energetic company. From our humble beginning in 2001 with only a blogger with a laptop sitting outside starbucks leeching wireless, we go from strength to strength and now with more controversial articles and more than 100,000 unique visitors daily. We are currently ignoring a few lawsuits and gearing for an IPO (Initial Public Offering) and are in the process of applying for MSC status as Malaysia's largest multimedia company.

Bolehland Today was recently featured in Fast Company's March issue as one of the "50 Most Innovative Companies in the World". Apart from being the blog with the hottest and controversial news, Fast Company says that Bolehland has "defied industry convention and democratized internet".

At Bolehland Today, our employees are our most valuable assets. These outstanding individuals are steering us towards our goal of becoming Malaysia's largest blog. Come join us and take the opportunity to excel as a team, and as an individual.


Vacancies available : (Full time - KL / PJ / Cyberjaya / Putrajaya)


Blogger (10 positions)

Job description : Writes about politic issue in Malaysia
Requirements : Knowledge about blogging and internet is a must.
Have no fear of lawsuit or whatsoever.
Ability to do statutory declaration is an added bonus.
Benefits : Free teh tarik at the police station each time being investigate.

Graphic designer ( 3 positions )

Job description : Manipulate photos
Requirements : Basic knowledge of Photoshop 1.0
Must read Photoshop for Newbie by Lawrence L.
Benefits : Free Macbook (must return back if quit)


Please send your complete resume to :

hr@bolehland-today.net (only online application applicable)

It's no secret that I want to be a pilot, I talked a lot about it with others. So, I found out Malaysia Airlines has opened their cadet pilot programme for young and enthusiast people like me (haha). Basically about the programme is they will sponsor you to train as a pilot then you will be bonded for 15 years with the company.

Having heard a lot of bad stories about bad stories about POS Malaysia, I decided to take action into my own hand, NO ! I'm not gonna go and burn the POS office. Instead, I'm going to send my application straight to the Malaysia Airlines office.

My resume

10 As in SPM doesn't guarantee anything these days

Please indicate “CADET PILOT” on the top left corner of the envelope (my handwriting sucks !)

MH = Malaysian Hospitality

When the cabin crews are not asking "tea or coffee ?", this is what they do

Another one

When they are not talking cock, they do this

After I was given this visitor pass, I made a dumb mistake.
Me : Building yang mane satu ? (with fake semenanjung slang)
Security : Di hujung sekali di sebelah kanan.
Me : Di tingkat berape ?
S : Ermm.. (a moment of silence).

Obviously I've already written clearly on my application form the address which is on the 2nd floor. A BIG duh~

Inside the office, I kept my DSLR inside the bag at all times, so that they won't freak out and kick my butt out of their office before I managed to send in my application. Time for the old sexy V3 phone in action.

The two boxes where you put your dream in

I said my prayer before I put my dream in

Next post, de'tour to the abandoned Subang Terminal 3.

It makes me wonder whether..

my camera is a gay..

my camera doesn't like the owner

my camera like cars

What happen when you put 3 starving women and a man in a car, in a place they are not familiar with, to find a place for lunch ?


Let start off with the 1st subject, the driver, let's call her A. While seated at the front passenger seat is B, the man is C and another subject is D.

A and B are like very good friends so it's no surprise that they talk a lot (i mean A LOT), while C is the man with a camera in his hands while observing how will these women navigate through the unknown. While D is quiet all the way.


So, came out from the first junction, A already turned the wrong way, while the signboard obviously showed right to go to city center, she turned left. Then along the way, whenever A came to a junction, the following conversations will occur.

A : Left or right ? Faster faster !
B or C : Left left left !
A : Sure or not ?
B or C : Very sure one !

One thing about KL is when you held our head up, the first thing you will see is KLCC. So, A was just following the direction of the twin towers while occasionally the above conversation happened.

That's KLCC for you, the tallest two building with a sharp edge at the top

After navigating through the traffic of KL roads, ABCD managed to get to KLCC. After doing some stuff and getting lunch, it's time to head back.

By this time, the traffic has worsen. And at a traffic light, A and B were talking/gossiping about something, then a LOUD honk sounds from behind.. obviously it was green light and A just realised it after being honked by the car behind..


No wonder people always complained that women are the worst driver. Then along the journey nothing much happened except a few conversations like mentioned above. All this while, only A, B, C involved, you must be wondering where is D right ?

D was sleeping along the way