Saturday, October 22, 2011

Honest Flight Announcement


Before Takeoff


This is your captain speaking from the flight deck. We are currently delayed for take off as there is slight "technical issue" *cough* the co-pilot is late *cough*.

Our destination today is subject to the availability of fuels on board and the airport that welcomes us. Just some info for We are currently no.15 for departure because the airline forgot to pay the airport tax. Please be reminded that you are not allowed to operate electronic devices throughout the flight. Nope, not even airplane mode. Please sit back, relax and enjoy the flight while I navigate the journey with the Google maps on my ipad 2.

During Flight


For your info, we are currently cruising at an altitude of... oh never mind.. We are actually on level 16 of Angry Birds. We're still trying to get through this level with 3 stars achievements. Now that we have reached the cruising altitude, we will turn down the cabin lights for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendances. We will be selling snack box for you at the special price of Rm 12 (which only cost RM1.20), so grab yours now ! If you are sitting at the aisle seat, take a good look at your neighbour, because they will be giving you either the cock or the ass in your face when they are going out to the lavatory. So sit back, relax and enjoy the flight while we at the flight deck trying to break the record for Angry Birds.

After Landing

Ladies and gentlemen, we have arrived at the destination which might or might not be your preferred destination. While we are still taxing at the runway, please unbuckle your seatbelt, switch on your phone, stand and grab your overweight hand-carry luggage in the overhead compartment and rush to the nearest exit, although we wont be opening the door just yet. Please do not leave behind your kid behind as we prefer material possession. Any items left behind will be shared equally by the flight crews. We hope you have enjoyed the flight with us as we certainly do. Till next time if the company has not bankrupt yet, we hope to see you !

Wednesday, August 3, 2011


Currently reading : Catch-22 by Joseph Heller


I was at McDonalds the other day for lunch, as it was lunch hour the whole place was swarming with anxious and hungry people queuing at the counter, or waiting for that fat kids at the sauce counter trying to pump as much chilli sauce into the tiny platters, before trying to put on as much platters as possible and juggling it on their hands back to his seat. Everyone's body language was very negative, most of the people were folding their arms across their chest, as if trying to put a fence around them and said "Hey dude, I'm just here to get my Big Mac. Don't talk to me or don't even make eye contact with me."

As I was observing the people around, there was one person who caught my attention. Nope, she's not that slutty-looking girl, neither was the bubbly-looking girl who was giggling with her friends about some jokes I suppose. She was wearing a long black gown with an inverted W logo. She's the staff of the McD where she cleans the tables after the customers finished their meal, or finished spilling the sauce all over the tray or table. Oh, there was something about her, she's pregnant, the type where through my inexperienced eyes, is around 6-7 months.

Now that Raya season is approaching, I'm sure that she wants this year Raya to be celebrated with new shirts, new dresses, or at least full meals on the table. However, there was this young man, after finishing his meal, took his tray and disposed off the rubbish and put the tray back with the rest of the trays which were stacked together. The pregnant lady looked grateful for the young man course of action, however she was left with nothing else to do but to wait for other customers to vacant their tables with the trays for her to clean up.

But have you wonder, if everyone cleans up their own tray and put the tray back on the proper place, what will the pregnant staff do then ? If all the cars are equipped with Touch n Go card or Smart Tag, what will the toll cashiers do ? How will they celebrate their Raya season, especially with an impending small one on the way waiting to be fed ? As my mind ponder all the imaginations and scenarios that might or might not happen, I walked away from the table, leaving my tray at the table...

p.s. : Seasons after seasons have changed, leaves have fall and renew, and I have just started to write again. There is no more excuse about work, outstation, or whatever. I'm gonna try to blog from time to time as time permits.

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